Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Getting Better

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine wasn't so good. I thought I was having period pain and general discomfort but it turns out I had a head-cold. I felt so bad last week I didn't do any of my chores and I just laid about the house with a splitting headache and congested sinus. I hate being sick. I have no patience for it. I never have, even as a child. I hate that I feel so helpless and useless. I didn't do any dishes and cooked the simplest of meals. I didn't do laundry but I did manage to keep the animals and plants feed. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache.I thought it wasn't too bad but then my teeth started hurting; it turned out to be something close to a migraine. I finally got up and took an Excedrin PM pill and that let me sleep.  Today is the first day that I can tell Im feeling better. My sinus is starting to clear out and my head isn't as foggy.

It's hard to believe that we are almost at year's end. It seems that time keeps moving faster and faster the older we get. I am very thankful that our financial situation has improved greatly compared to last year. I thank God everyday and night that we were given the opportunity to continue ours lives here in this home and town. I'm also very thankful that our families and friends are safe and healthy.  I always ask that everyone who needs helps gets it.

We've gotten a lot of rain in the last week. Friday it rained all day.The sound of the rain hitting the front windows was pretty loud and sounded more like hail than rain.  I really missed the rain. Although, I wish it would snow instead but it hasn't been cold enough for that yet. One thing is for sure, we've gotten a lot more rain this year than we did last year.

A few weeks ago my father called me and asked for my forgiveness. It was an unexpected call to say the least. he was crying and asking me to forgive him. And I did. He hurt my siblings and I  immensely but there is no point in me holding onto such negative and hateful feelings. I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I have forgiven him. I no longer feel this ugly, hateful feeling brewing within me. I feel more at peace with myself and him. He ,however, has not forgiven himself. He's going down a self-hating, destructive spiral that I fear will not end well. I told him that if he truly wants to change he needs to forgive himself, get closer to God, and get lots of therapy both for his psychological issues and his substance abuse. I was surprised that I was able to keep relatively calm and coherent while we were talking. He didn't cuss at him; I didn't yell at him. I was able to give him advice and he listened. Whether he decides to do anything with that advice its up to him.  People have to want to be helped in order for them to get better.

I finished knitting my mother-in-law fingerless gloves similar to mine only shorter. I also made a warm and fuzzy cowl. I just need to buy the buttons to sew on. I started working on my first sweater. Yay! I hope it turns out well. I'm using a similar color and weight. I don't really want to use wool because it makes me itchy and then I won't wear it.

Photobucket
This sweater is called "Jan" and it's out of Joan Crawford's A Stitch in Time Vol.2  I may lengthen it a bit since I have a long torso and don't have the need to show my tummy. This book has so many great patterns. Hopefully once I learn to alter and translate patterns a bit better, I'll be able to use some of the vintage patterns I have stored on my laptop.  And I have a lot of patterns saved.

I hope everyone has a great and fun filled week.





23 comments:

  1. Ugh,sinuses! Ghastly things. Sorry to hear you've been sick,but great that you are on the mend.
    My goodness, that's huge, forgiving your father. I'm not great at forgiveness,it doesn't come easy to me, so I am very proud of you! Holding onto grudges and anger isn't healthy at all, and I'm working on that.I so hope your Father can get his act together.I like to think that's it's never too late, although I don't truly believe a person can change.I just think they can become concious of their flaws and make every effort to be aware when they're fekcing up and try to stop themselves from falling into patterns.
    Speaking of patterns, that little sweater one is just darling! XXX

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    1. Thank you. I know what you mean. I can hold a grudge for a long, LONG time but it didn't do me any good. I hate rage fits at some points in my life. I never physically hurt anyone but verbally I did. I'm completely embarrassed by it but I've moved on and apologized to those I hurt.

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  2. Oh no, I'm very sorry to hear that you've been ill lately, dear gal. Winter has many lovely points, but the fact that it seems to attack nearly every one of us with at least one cold, flu or other virus before spring rolls around again is one definitely not one of them. Fingers firmly crossed this is the only bug you get hit by this winter.

    ♥ Jessica

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    1. Thanks. I've been lucky that this is the first time I've been in over two years. My mother-in-law had some green tea and echinacea that did wonders for colds. Funny thing is that last year my husband was the one who got sick. Maybe we'll just trade off every other year.

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  3. oh no darling, it´s terrible being ill, but i´m glad you could made peace with your father. it´s more important for yourself than anything else, because you are right hate is such a bad feeling and it leads to nowhere!.
    love and kiss,mary

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I feel that holding a grudge makes one older and all wrinkly.

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  4. Wow stunning picture



    New post on :
    Http://Fashioneiric.blogspot.com

    Coline.

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  5. Oh love, so sorry you've been so ill. As a chronic sinus sufferer, I feel your pain and offer you big hugs and cups of steamy yummy drinks! I'm so glad you have had the opportunity to actively forgive your father. It can be so so difficult to forgive, especially a negligent or abusive parent, and I'm so pleased for you. And finally that beautiful yellow sweater is STUNNING. I can't wait to see the finished product! BIG HUGS! Sarah xxx

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    1. Thank you. Tea really does help and not doing any house chores too.

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  6. First time on your blog. I hope you're feeling better by now. Greetings from a fellow cat lover ;-)

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  7. Why! Can't! I! Knit! I googled the book you mentioned and BOY do I want both the top you posted here and the crazy sleeve'd thing on the cover! Must...put effort...into learning...

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    1. I made it one of my New Year's resolution to learn and am kicking my butt for not starting earlier. It's can be frustrating at first but once you get the hang of it, it's really fun and awesome.

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  8. Oh ! Hope u get better soon, honey and be really charged up for the new year ! And what an intricate knit ! I personally love it so much too !
    Thanks so much for ur comment on my blog ! If u want we can follow each other on gfc n bloglovin. Let me know.
    ✿thefashionflite
    ✿twitter
    ✿Bloglovin

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    1. Thank you. I'm already feeling tons better.

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  9. oooooh i really hope you get better super soon!!!! :)
    so don't worry honey! it will get better for SURE!
    just time !
    xoxo
    Syriously in Fashion
    Syriously Facebook Page

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    1. Thanks. I tend to be a bit impatient when it comes to recovery time from anything.

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  10. Hi dear, I just found your blog and I love it!
    Follow each other on GFC? just let me know!

    ♥ Margherita ♥

    Frivolezze Provinciali

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  11. im so touched that your father did that because it truly shoes he cares. =) glad it all worked out and vintage patterns are always so exciting ! have a lovely week hun xoxo

    love from the NANA girls xoxo

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    1. Thank you. It really has made things much easier for me emotionally.

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  12. I had sinuses and I also hate it so badly! It took me months to finally fully recovered. Get well soon dear ^^ I'm so happy for you for mending relationship with your father :)

    Caroline
    http://missoline.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you. Luckily, mine didn't take that long. I knew a few people who had to have surgery because their sinuses were so bad.

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