Getting Better

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine wasn't so good. I thought I was having period pain and general discomfort but it turns out I had a head-cold. I felt so bad last week I didn't do any of my chores and I just laid about the house with a splitting headache and congested sinus. I hate being sick. I have no patience for it. I never have, even as a child. I hate that I feel so helpless and useless. I didn't do any dishes and cooked the simplest of meals. I didn't do laundry but I did manage to keep the animals and plants feed. Sunday night I went to bed with a headache.I thought it wasn't too bad but then my teeth started hurting; it turned out to be something close to a migraine. I finally got up and took an Excedrin PM pill and that let me sleep.  Today is the first day that I can tell Im feeling better. My sinus is starting to clear out and my head isn't as foggy.

It's hard to believe that we are almost at year's end. It seems that time keeps moving faster and faster the older we get. I am very thankful that our financial situation has improved greatly compared to last year. I thank God everyday and night that we were given the opportunity to continue ours lives here in this home and town. I'm also very thankful that our families and friends are safe and healthy.  I always ask that everyone who needs helps gets it.

We've gotten a lot of rain in the last week. Friday it rained all day.The sound of the rain hitting the front windows was pretty loud and sounded more like hail than rain.  I really missed the rain. Although, I wish it would snow instead but it hasn't been cold enough for that yet. One thing is for sure, we've gotten a lot more rain this year than we did last year.

A few weeks ago my father called me and asked for my forgiveness. It was an unexpected call to say the least. he was crying and asking me to forgive him. And I did. He hurt my siblings and I  immensely but there is no point in me holding onto such negative and hateful feelings. I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I have forgiven him. I no longer feel this ugly, hateful feeling brewing within me. I feel more at peace with myself and him. He ,however, has not forgiven himself. He's going down a self-hating, destructive spiral that I fear will not end well. I told him that if he truly wants to change he needs to forgive himself, get closer to God, and get lots of therapy both for his psychological issues and his substance abuse. I was surprised that I was able to keep relatively calm and coherent while we were talking. He didn't cuss at him; I didn't yell at him. I was able to give him advice and he listened. Whether he decides to do anything with that advice its up to him.  People have to want to be helped in order for them to get better.

I finished knitting my mother-in-law fingerless gloves similar to mine only shorter. I also made a warm and fuzzy cowl. I just need to buy the buttons to sew on. I started working on my first sweater. Yay! I hope it turns out well. I'm using a similar color and weight. I don't really want to use wool because it makes me itchy and then I won't wear it.


This sweater is called "Jan" and it's out of Joan Crawford's A Stitch in Time Vol.2  I may lengthen it a bit since I have a long torso and don't have the need to show my tummy. This book has so many great patterns. Hopefully once I learn to alter and translate patterns a bit better, I'll be able to use some of the vintage patterns I have stored on my laptop.  And I have a lot of patterns saved.

I hope everyone has a great and fun filled week.